"Girl" (in the voice of my mother)

This is the way you put sheets on the bed, be sure there are no wrinkles before you put the next one on. This is how you rub out the wrinkles. Be sure you tuck the bottom and the sides under the mattress. No, not like that. Like this. Nevermind I'll do it. So, have any interesting young men caught your eye? This is how you use the sewing machine, the spool goes here. This is how you thread the bobbin. Step on the peddle to make it go. No, no, no. Not that fast. Not that slow either. Press it harder. Harder. Get up. I'll do. Have you met anyone special yet? This is how you make cornbread. This is how you break an egg, make sure you don't let any egg shells fall in. This is how you pick out the egg shells. This is how you mix the ingredients. Not so fast. You'll get it everywhere. Not so slow either. Faster. Faster. You don't have to be so gentle with it. It's not going to call the police on you. Move. I'll do it. So, are you going out with any cute guys this weekend? I'm not dating anyone. You mean to tell me the good Lord gave you seven days in a week and you only intend to date one guy at a time? Have I taught you nothing?