Response to "Whistle While You Work"

I thought the first two lines were very nice but the rhymes in the third and fourth seem a bit forces. Also with the first two lines, Hayley said she was trying to say that seconds and minutes are not enough time to create a poem but the way I read it caused me to think that she was trying to say that poetry takes up too much time. Perhaps I am the only one who got confused but that.  Overall stanza one's flow was very good. The second stanza, however was nothing like the first. The first stanza has AABBCD rhymes scheme and the second was ABCBDD. Once again, in the second stanza the rhymes on line 5&6 seemed forced. I think the theme of the poem if very good. Swapping (not necessarily changing them) a few lines and finding a common rhyme scheme would make this poem very powerful and perhaps a bit easier to understand. I would also suggest to consider reworking the title. Though the poem does reference the "Snow White" song, the title is too recognizable and may cause readers to look for the connection to the movie rather than the poems actual message. While in our groups yesterday, Ward made the suggestion to title it, "Whistle while you write" Though I would not recommend using a title made up by someone else, I think it is a step in the right direction towards the title's revision. Each poem is unique and this one deserves a title that is just that.

"Drowning in Ink"

The first stanza is very well done. To me it had the best flow of all. I thought it was interesting that Juliana treated the page as though it were being stabbed yet brought to life by the ink from the pen. Making the writer's tears smudge the words and created the image of the words drowning was very cleverly played. Very creative. 

I thought the shift from the writer's actions to the letter was done well. Stanza seven's crinkled paper description came across very well too. 

In the very last stanza the ink is described as a toxic enemy and taints the page yet, Juliana calls it "elegant black". I just wonder why she chose to change that image. I'm not suggesting that it be changed tho. I'm just curious. I'm also curious to know what "christens pulp" is. Is Christen the speaker of the poem? I guess the lack of capitalization there has me confused. 

Response to "Disenchanted"

I really like the comparison of discarded poetry to "haven't bloomed" flowers. What most people would have done is instantly used "dead" flowers. I think the use of premature blossoms just symbolized the fact the poems had not been giving the chance to take root. That was a very unique image. The ink remaining stubborn in the pen in another unique form of imagery. We have all experienced when a pen doesn't work consistently and it leaves dark and light splotches all over the page. I also thought it was interesting that Kiersten wrote about the "unmagic" of poetry.

I noticed the poem had no particular flow to it but that did not make it difficult to read. I thought the first stanzas imagery was very powerful. One thing I did not understand was the line "the dusk color of the frustrated sun slipping over the edge". I'm sure it is something that can be cleared up with mere explanation but after reading and rereading the poem I still don't understand what image is attempting to be painted with this line. Has the writer been attempting to write a poem all day and now the sun is setting? I think once this particular image is cleared up, this poem can be very powerful.

"Girl" (in the voice of my mother)

This is the way you put sheets on the bed, be sure there are no wrinkles before you put the next one on. This is how you rub out the wrinkles. Be sure you tuck the bottom and the sides under the mattress. No, not like that. Like this. Nevermind I'll do it. So, have any interesting young men caught your eye? This is how you use the sewing machine, the spool goes here. This is how you thread the bobbin. Step on the peddle to make it go. No, no, no. Not that fast. Not that slow either. Press it harder. Harder. Get up. I'll do. Have you met anyone special yet? This is how you make cornbread. This is how you break an egg, make sure you don't let any egg shells fall in. This is how you pick out the egg shells. This is how you mix the ingredients. Not so fast. You'll get it everywhere. Not so slow either. Faster. Faster. You don't have to be so gentle with it. It's not going to call the police on you. Move. I'll do it. So, are you going out with any cute guys this weekend? I'm not dating anyone. You mean to tell me the good Lord gave you seven days in a week and you only intend to date one guy at a time? Have I taught you nothing?

Response to "Intro to Poetry", "Snow Day", "Homage to my Hips", & Girl

"Introduction to Poetry" in my eyes the speaker is trying to encourage poetry readers to examine poetry through many different perspectives. "press a ear against its hive" > listen to it, let it speak to you

"drop a mouse into it" > get lost in it and let it guide you out.

"waterski across the surface...wave to the author on the shore" > have fun with, allow it to take you away like a vacation. the author is the ski instructor. he's given you what you need now leave him behind and go for it. 

But instead of enjoying poetry, readers are so concerned with finding out the poems "deep meaning".

I found this poem to be rather funny because I tend to tie poetry to a chair and beat it with a hose but Collins has inspired me to waterski. 

"Homage to my Hips" is a poem of confidence. The enjambment did not hinder the reading of the poem like it did in "The Lull'. The poem has its most natural flow when read to the punctuation. The flow of the poem makes me think of the rhythm of walking. I believe the speaker walks with a very confident stride and maybe Clifton is trying to convey to fluidity of her steps through the rhythm of this poem.

In Jamaica Kincaid's "Girl" the speaker (who i guess is the mother) is reading off a list of daily tasks (to who I presume is her daughter) and the proper way to complete them. The mother seems to be trying to prepare the girl for adulthood. Throughout the poem the mother continues to encourage her daughter not to become a slut, though from what she says, the girl is already hell bent on being one. the tasks the mother is speaking of are tasks that are usually considered to be woman's work. Though the poem is titled "Girl" the mother is doing what she can to ensure her daughter is prepared to be a woman.

"Snow day" was a cute little poem. It is probably one of the more simplistic of the poems we have read so far.  (5 lined stanzas all ending in punctuation). At first I was thinking the speaker was probably a teenager or a pre-teen with the him being so excited to be out of school for this unexpected snow day but when the radio announcer begins to read off the list of closed schools, it led me to believe the reader was much younger. The cute little names of the schools had me laughing out loud, especially "Peas-and-Carrots." But then again as I sit back and re-read it, perhaps the speaker is at an older age and maybe the sweetness of the school names is being used as a sort of time warp to foreshadow the kind of child like antics that will take place on this day, particularly the possible snow ball war that is partially indicated at the end. 

Loathe (Peanuts Poem)

Tshirt white tshirt
Fresh and pressed
Crisp and creased
Sneakers black and laced
Prepared for another day
As you thump thump thump
On your way
Chest proud
Head held high
Ready, Come what may
But today will not be a good day
It never is
And still everyday
Day after day
You get up and try again
The good man, the old ol' boy
Man, what a sucker
But it's not like I'm jealous or anything...

Response to "Faulty Heart", "The Lull", and "The Nani"

In my interpretation of "Faulty Heart" I think that the speaker is talking about having a constant change of heart. I feel that the speaker is a some point in his/her life where he/she is facing some major decisions and has found themselves at a crossroads. The fourth stanza is kind of an "outside looking in" situation because the speaker feels as though other people seem to make decisions easily and turn out happy whereas the speaker can not seem to find a decision that will leave the heart satisfied. Stanza 5 translates to me as how the speaker (as well as readers) go to bed at night with the trouble lingering in their heart and when they awaken the next day, no resolve has been found.
The constant pestering, caught moth, child's beating fist etc, described in stanza six help to illustrate the speaker's on going nagging sensation. The comparison of the heart to a child's fist can be characterized by a temper tantrum, the constant thump thump thumping that can only be stopped by satisfaction.
In Stanza 7, the speaker says he/she gave up singing to it, possibly pacifying it with easy decision making or avoiding making decisions at all. "one night I will say to it: Heart, be still, and it will." This is the author's way of saying one day he/she will finally reach a point of contentment and satisfaction and the constant pest will stop.
Though the final stanza seems insistant the speaker is referring to death, I chose to find an alernative to what the speaker could have been talking about.

On Molly Peacock's "The Lull", I can honestly say i have no idea what it is about. Maybe I am trying to hard to find the coveted deeper meaning but i am also struggling with finding meaning on the shallow level. All I can get from this is two children looking at a dead possum carcass, one is disgust and the other in a form of wonder. "Dreams, brians, fur, and guts: what we are." I think the speaker is making the comparison between humans and all animals. Once we get past tails and claws, we are all made of the same thing. "dreams, brains, fur, and guts...flesh" i really can not pick anything in particular that makes the poem confusing nor can i name a specific element of change that would give it more clarity.

"The Nani" puts me in the mind of a young man who has left his home country to live in another, perhaps for college or maybe to find success and fortune only to return home embarrassed and empty handed. The Nani (whom I interpret as a grandmother figure) welcomes him home with open arms. First, by making sure he is well fed. She catches him up on all that has gone one while he has been gone, chit- chatting about "this and that". He remains silent and only watching her moving through the kitchen preparing food for him. he notices how Nani has aged and knows that she does not have many years left to live. He mentions how Nani is "this and that" to him (the big and the small, the major and the minor). The speaker wonders how much of him will die when Nani dies, which leads me to believe that perhaps he was raised by Nani or perhaps Nani is the only person who offered him any kind of support.  

Response to "Loading a Boar" and "The Pathos of Charles Schultz"

David Lee's "Loading A Boar" was a particularly fun read. Lee writes in the style of composing the poem just the way a person taking part in the 'loading' rather than what is considered the "traditional style of poetry. Lee's step away from the conventional provides a glance at how poetry is more than just lines, rhymes, and, stanzas but instead merely a blob of personal information, plopped on the page in the shape of its own choosing, in the dialect of its own choosing. Lee's poem provides inspiration in itself to grab a pen and paper and just write, go beyond the limitations of grammatics and punctuation and let the world speak to us, let it plops itself on our page as it sees fit.
"The Pathos of Charlie Brown" by Matt Bondurant takes a look into one of Charlie Brown's many bad days. Though bad luck is no stranger to Charlie Brown this particular work seems to speak to the Charlie Brown in all of us. Chuck's "easy" spelling bee word plays with that moment all of us have experienced when the gods of good graces seems to be smiling on us  and victory is closely within our reach but then we get in our own way and it all comes crashing down. Bondurant's vivid descriptions of the ride home (the moon in the window/the color and shape of a cashew nut, the mournful tune played by Snoopy on the harmonica) set the scene for what could be the tearful moments, the moments when the previous events replay in our minds.
When Charlie Brown gets home in the middle of the night, there are no left overs for him to heat up from an earlier dinner. Charlie is left to wallow in his grief with a bowl of soggy corn flakes. Charlie Brown can't even have crunchy cereal. The closing line "This is no gift of resolve or insight,/no cartoonish god-machine/ no possibility, for any of us, to rid ourselves/of this one simple thing. Is when the work stops being just about Charlie Brown and speaks to all readers.We all have those moments when luck isn't on our side and world makes it its mission to continuously remind our of our failures. But like Charlie Brown, we have to eat our soggy cereal and get out there and hope for better days.